Friday, 30 December 2005

a relationship without any result or future.. is it worth to
hold on to it? i think its again depend on what individual want
from the relationship.. some may hold on to it and enjoy every
single day till the relationship cease.. some see it as
"长痛不如短痛".. which mean it gona hurt even more eventually,
thus ending it earlier rather then stretch the pains till the end..
i guess there's no right or wrong.. as long as you follow
your heart and feel happy with your life..

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dreamed of racing on 10:56 am

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Sunday, 18 December 2005

As I enter the living room table, I passed by my notebook, and flicked it on.
I then walked into the study where the "wireless" modem is, and turn it on,
followed by a trip to the loo. As I exit, I pass by the study,
as I enter to turn the modem on. To my shock, the modem has already been
switched on! Goodness gracious me! Did I leave it on since last night?

Now, you must think I was inane, incoherent in the head.
But has this never happened to you? Sometimes, we have lapses of mindfulness,
during which we are "absent", unmindfully switched to autopilot mode.
In those instances, we miss life itself. In the words of the Buddha,
"Mindfulness is the way to the deathless (Nirvana); unmindfulness is the way
to death. Those who are mindful do not die; those who are not mindful
are as if already dead." When unmindful, we mindlessly go through habitual motion,
doing something physically, yet not being "there" mentally.
Because we were not really 100% "there", we easily forget having done what we did,
and unwittingly find ourselves "needing" to redo it. What we really need is to
switch to the manual mode of life - to be mindful! If we are not even wakeful to
the trivial stuff in our lives, how can we be aware of the subtle nuances of the mind,
which is especially important in spiritual training?

The nature of the modem incident struck me as perhaps one of the quickest way
to be "reborn" in everyday life. Because I forgot that I had turned on the modem
a few minutes ago, I was "instantly reborn" with the tendency to do the exact
same thing. I had "been there, done that", but as far as I was concerned or
conscious of, I did not! It was quite a simple yet existentially frightening experience.
It made me reflect about how there must be many things I am re-doing now,
because this life feels new to me, how I must be re-succumbing to the same
old temptations which distract me from the path to Enlightenment.
It's hilarious how I thought ir might be easy to remember my past lives,
when my mind is so unsharp that it even forgets that which occurred only
moments ago!"

Did I lock the door and close the window?" A friend obsessively re-runs
these questions when he leaves home, sometimes physically re-checking.
Is he being extra mindful? Conversely, it exihibits his uncertainty due to
unmindfulness. If he was "there" to mindfully lock the door and close the window,
he would only need to do it that once. If so, why don't we mindfully, properly,
live this "one" life best we can... so as to cut the endless revisions of
re-learning the lessons that never really got into our heads?
Doing so not only reduces repetitious "rebirths" within this very life,
it actually cuts down the number of actual future rebirths too!
Are you a learner of life in an upward learning curve or an ever-sliding infinite loop?
You choose. It's no wonder mindfulness is an crucial foundation for the
spiritual path - because unmindfulness means one might be constantly
re-starting this path, yet never truly going anywhere!

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dreamed of racing on 12:01 pm

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将心比心

有二个妇人在聊天，其中一个问道：“你儿子还好吧？”
另一个回答道：“别提了，真是不幸哦！”这个妇人叹息道：“他实在够可怜，
娶个媳妇懒的要命，不烧饭、不扫地、不洗衣服、不带孩子，整天就是睡觉，
我儿子还要端早餐到她的床上呢！”“那女儿呢？” “那她可就好命了。”
妇人满脸笑容地说：“他嫁了一个不错的丈夫，不让他做家事，
全部都由先生一手包办，煮饭、洗衣、扫地、带孩子，
而且每天早上还端早点到床上给她吃呢！”

默想：
同样的状况，但是，当我们从我们自己的角度去看时，就会产生不同的心态。
站在别人的立场看一看，或换个角度想一想，很多事就不一样了，
你可以有更大的包容，也会有更多的爱。

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dreamed of racing on 11:55 am

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Sunday, 11 December 2005

Love is the wish for all beings to be happy. Usually we are selective in
who we love, reserving these feelings for friends and family.
However, when love is limited and conditional it tends to become tainted
with attachment and expectation. We feel that if we love someone,
then they should love us in return. Also, love can quickly turn to hate
if the loved person decides that he or she no longer wants to be friends with us.
This is attachment, not love.

Because love is a bottomless lake we don't need to be stingy with it.
Love will not run out if we extend it, so we can afford to be generous.
What stops us from loving everyone? It is because we discriminate
between people. We are attracted to some, repelled by others,
and indifferent to many. Yet these partisan feelings are unreliable since
they change. Your dear friend was once unknown; your hated ex-lover was
once your closest friend. Abandoning discrimination helps us realize it is
possible to want all others to be happy, which is the true _expression of love.

Compassion is the heartfelt wish for all beings to be free from suffering.
In the same way that we ourselves want to be happy and free from suffering,
so do all other beings. Love and compassion for others is essential for
our own happiness because we can never be truly happy and free from
suffering while those around us suffer unhappiness. However,
we don't need to feel sad to be compassionate toward others.
Being overly emotional is sentimentality rather than compassion.

Excerpt: Why Compassion is Essential for Happiness

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dreamed of racing on 10:45 am

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Saturday, 10 December 2005

would you marry someone you don't love? i asked a few female friends
and some of them said yes, some of them its depend..
depend on how much money the guy have? kaoz..

this society is becoming so realistic.. i rather went back to kampong life
where we help each other without any motive behind..
where people are not so practical.. i really dislike practical people..
must they always gain something? but in the other hand,
i can't really blame them as they're brought up in this realistic society..

one of my friends said "A relationship can last without love, but won't
last without money" wth.. i do believe a rela wont last without money,
but i dun believe that a rela can last without love.. at least not for me..
maybe, i'm the few more emotional person who's not so practical in sg..
i simply can't marry someone i don't love.. i still look upon marriage as a
very important event in life.. though i know nowadays people
don't think this way anymore..

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dreamed of racing on 4:29 pm

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Saturday, 3 December 2005

Lack of RSVP's - A Growing Problem

I hear more and more often, and have found in my personal experience, that hosts
often do not receive firm indications whether guests plan to attend their parties,
even if R.S.V.P. is clearly printed on the invitation. This could mean either one of
two things. First it could mean that rudeness is a growing trend in our society.
Or, as I would prefer to believe, people no longer understand what the term means.
Assuming the best, and that the decline in R.S.V.P.'s can be attributed to ignorance
and not rudeness, I will clarify this for the record.

What RSVP Means

The term R.S.V.P. comes from the French expression "répondez s'il vous pla?t",
meaning "please respond".

If R.S.V.P. is written on an invitation it means the invited guest must tell the
host whether or not they plan to attend the party. It does not mean to respond only
if you're coming, and it does not mean respond only if you're not coming (the
expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). It means the host needs a
definite head count for the planned event, and needs it by the date specified on the
invitation.

Why It's Inconsiderate to Not RSVP

An incomplete list of respondents can cause numerous problems for a host including
difficulty in planning food quantities, issues relating to minimum guarantees with
catering halls, uncertainty over the number of party favors and difficulties in
planning appropriate seating, among other things.

So the next time you see R.S.V.P. on an invitation you receive, please call your
host and respond promptly.

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dreamed of racing on 10:50 pm

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