Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Q:Thay, what do you mean when you say to go back to our religious roots?
How can we do that and continue to study and practice Buddhism,
which is so practical and helpful?

A: I think we have to look into our religious roots, because sometimes we are not
capable of identifying our spiritual roots. If you are a Buddhist, then you know
that Buddha is a root, but you are aware that before the Buddha there was already
something -- the Buddha was somebody who also had roots. So your roots did not
begin with the Buddha. To inquire about the Buddha and the ancestors of the Buddha
is important.

When you are a Christian, of course Jesus Christ is your spiritual root, but before
Christianity there were other things. Therefore it is interesting and even exciting
to inquire about our roots. Our roots can be very old, and our roots can also be new.
We inherit things like democracy and freedom. The people who made democracy and
freedom possible for us to enjoy are our roots also, so to go back and search for
our roots is a very joyful, very important thing.

Of course, we will encounter negative aspects and elements, but that does not
prevent us going back to our own source.Our roots are also the roots of many people
around us. If we can go back to our roots and try to discover the real values,
the jewels contained in that tradition, we will be able to benefit many people
who have come from these roots. This morning a young person asked me what should
she do if she is in love with a young man who belongs to another religious tradition,
since she doesn't want to betray her roots. She is a Buddhist, and the other family
might require that she abandon her Buddhism to become a Catholic.

I would like to tell you a story. Thirty five years ago I had a student who fell
in love with a young man who was Catholic, and the family of that young man required
that the young lady abandon the practice of Buddhism in order to be baptized as a
Catholic. That was the basic condition for the marriage, and she suffered very much.
Her family was also opposed to that. She cried and cried, and one day she came to me.

I said that Buddhism is not there to make you unhappy. Buddhism is not an obstacle,
so I think in the name of the Buddha I can tell you that you can become a Catholic
and marry him, but I would like to make a recommendation. You have received The
Five Mindfulness Trainings; you should continue to look on them as the guidelines
of your life. You don't have to be called a Buddhist; you only have to be a true
Buddhist within yourself. Live accordingly and practice the Five Mindfulness
Training, and that would make me happy enough.

She was so joyful that she was allowed to marry the person she loved. But she did
not sleep during that night, and the next morning she came very early, and she said,
"Thay, a tradition that is so embracing, so tolerant, so open, if I abandon it
and turn my back to it, I am not a person of value. A tradition that is so strict,
that has no tolerance, that is not able to understand, how could I formally identify
myself with it?" So she just refused to get married to that person. I thought that
I would help her get married to that young man,but I caused the opposite to happen.
Today, thirty five years later, she is here somewhere in this Sangha.

When I was in Korea a few years ago, I participated in the first dialogue between
Buddhists and Christians, and I said that many young people have suffered due to
being caught in that kind of situation. So I proposed that we should be able to
allow Buddhists and Christians to marry each other, with the condition that the
young man would learn and also practice the tradition of the young woman, and the
young woman would also learn and practice the tradition of the young man.

Instead of having one root, you have two roots. Why not? If you love mangoes,
you are free to continue to eat mangoes, but no one forbids you to eat pineapples
or oranges. Your favorite fruit is the mango, yes, but you don't betray your mango
when you eat pineapple. I think it's too narrow-minded, even stupid, to enjoy
only mango, when there are so many different fruits around in the world.

Spiritual traditions are like spiritual fruits, and you have the right to enjoy them.
It is possible to enjoy two traditions, to take the best of two traditions and live
with that. If you like to eat Italian food, you can still enjoy French and Chinese
cooking. You cannot say, "I have to be faithful to my Italian cooking", that's
too funny.

This year I would like to publish another book,as a continuation of my book
Living Buddha, Living Christ. I would like to publish the book with the title:
Buddha and Jesus as Brothers. In fact, they could have taken each other's hands
and practiced walking meditation, so why not the two of you, one as a Buddhist
and one as a Christian? You are the continuation of the Buddha, and you are the
continuation of Jesus Christ.

That is only beautiful, if you can share your wisdom, your insights, and you can
learn from each other and enrich yourselves. That is what I envision for the future,
that we remove the barriers between different spiritual traditions, and we behave
as people do in the circle of psychotherapists. They enjoy and learn from all other
traditions, and I think that each tradition of psychotherapy has something to offer.
It's too narrow if we only want to be faithful to one school of psychotherapy.

You are welcome to continue your practice of Buddhist meditation, because you find
it practical and helpful, transforming and healing. But you can think of other
people who have come from the same tradition as you, and who have not encountered
the practice. You can do it by sharing your Buddhist practice, and also proposing
to them that you go back to your spiritual roots, and you might discover things that
you have not seen.

You might begin anew, so that your tradition will become very refreshing, something
that can provide true answers to the questions of the new generations, and that will
benefit many people. When I say that you have to go back to your roots, that does not
mean that you have to abandon the Buddhist practice that you enjoy now. But the
Buddhist practice will help you to understand more deeply, so that your work of
transformation and renewing of your tradition will be possible; and especially so
that your heart will open to embrace the people who do not seem to be open and
understanding enough when they try to transmit their tradition and values to the
new generations of people.

0 comments
dreamed of racing on 2:45 pm

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Monday, 20 February 2012

认识严希时，我17岁。

那段日子，生活暗淡无光，没有依靠，没有希望。
那年，我经历了太多的不幸..

先是母亲因癌症去世，两年后，父亲在突发而来的车祸中丧生。

我失去了这个世上最亲的两个人，成了形单影只的孤儿。
我结束了高二的学业，打算出外自谋生路..

辍学的第三天，班主任找到我家里，

告诉我有人为我捐了款，我可以继续读书了。

喜悦与感激，无以言表..
我要见见为我捐款的人，班主任说，是县团委给我联系的。

我找到县团委，团委的人说，他们一般不让捐款人和受捐人见面，

因为这是社会行为，不掺杂个人感情。
我说，不让我见面，我就不接受捐赠！

我固执，是因为我感恩。我不能不知道我的恩人是谁？！

在我的坚持下，县团委终于安排我和严希见面了。
一个落日将尽的傍晚，严希在县团委同志的陪同下，到我的学校来了。

在校园的梧桐树下，在落日的余辉里，严希有些腼腆地站在我的面前..
出人意料的是，他竟是如此年轻、如此帅气、个子高挑、面皮白净..

很像古典小说里玉树临风的书生..

那时，他23岁，大学毕业后两年就当上了大公司的总经理。

我本来想好，见了面我要给人家鞠躬，看着他温暖的眼睛说：

「今后，我挣了钱，会还给你的。」
他显得有点局促，一度想过来握我的手，最后还是没握.. 他说：

「好好读书，上大学，读研究生，你读到哪，我供到哪，从今以后，你就是我的妹妹。」
他说得诚挚、不矫情、不做作、我听得出他内心的实在。

那一次的见面很匆忙，短短的几句话后，就分别。
但严希的名字却深深地刻在了我的心里..

夜深人静，我常常会想起他的容颜、他白净的脸、有点腼腆的表情、透着温暖的目光..

只要见到校园的梧桐树，见到天边落日的余辉..

我的心里，就会有阵阵感动，那是与严希有关的记忆..

第二年，我考上了大学。收到录取通知书后的第五天，严希来了..

仍是和县团委的同志一起来的。他带来了一万一千块钱，那是我读大学一年的学费和生活费。

他将钱交到我手里时只说了一句话，钱不够时给我打电话。他将他的手机号码告诉了我。
那天，他在我家里呆了一个上午，我俩没说太多的话，

我只知道，他在武汉的一家公司上班，这一万一千块钱，是他一年的全部积蓄。
没说太多话的原因，是我将精力都放在做饭上。

我留他和县团委的同志一起吃午饭，用母亲生前教我的手艺，无比虔诚地做了这顿饭。
那天下午，起风下雨，他们离去时，我送他们到村头的公路上乘车，

家里唯一的一把雨伞遮不住三个人，严希让我和县团委的同志共伞，

他自己将衬衫脱下来，罩在头上。
中巴缓缓离去时，他将头从车窗里伸出来，叮嘱我，快点回去，别被雨淋湿了。

我不住地点头，直到中巴驶得不见踪影，我仍没走，巴巴地望着公路的尽头，双眼朦胧..

远去的中巴，如织的雨帘，成了我最温暖的记忆.. ..

到西安上大学后，我很快在电脑城找到了一份零工，

每个周末到电脑城打工两天，一月的薪水，维持我的生活，绰绰有余。

我会偶尔打电话给严希，汇报我在学校的情况。

他也时常打电话到我的宿舍，问我的学业，问我的生活，问得最多的，是钱够不够用..
大二开学，他让我在银行开个账号，好汇钱给我。我拒绝了，我说：

「我边打工边读书，完全可以养活自己。确定我真的没有经济问题时，他才放心。」
但一个月后，我还是打电话给他，我说：

「你来吧，到我学校来，我有事找你。」
他很快就来了，带来了一万块钱。那天我没去上课，在宿舍里接待他

当他将钱递给我时，我推了回去，却掏出三千块钱递给他。

他一脸诧异，问我：是怎么回事？
「我会将钱还给你的，这是我一年多来打工攒下的钱，先还你一部分，

以后你不用捐钱给我了，我靠打工，养得活自己。」
「这就是你叫我来的目的？」我点了点头..

其实.. 他不明白，我叫他来是因为..
我想见到他.. 我想他..

但这话我没勇气说出口，他是为我捐赠的恩人，

我说这样的话，会让他误以为我对他有着依赖，这不是我刚强的心性所需要的！
他张嘴想说点什么，但最终什么也没说..

他伸手在我头顶摩挲了一阵说：

「你这个傻孩子，好吧，你不需要我的捐赠，以后，我就不捐钱了，你自己好好照顾自己。」
这是我俩第一次的身体接触，虽说没有我想象的那么亲密，但也让我激动了一阵..

我差一点就告诉他，我爱上了他！这是我真真实实的感觉.. 但是..
我抑制了自己的冲动，我不能让他误会我的感情是对他有所求，

只有等我将他的钱还清了，我俩是平等的，我才能坦言我的感情..
他在我的宿舍呆一会儿就走了。临走时，他也没接受那三千块钱，

而且不顾我的反对，仍是将那一万块钱留给了我。我要去车站送他，他也没答应。

他走后的第三天，我打电话给他，他的手机竟是空号。我不知道这是什么原因？！

那段日子，我像一个被人抛弃的弃儿，心是前所未有的失落和空洞..
虽然我不再需要他的捐赠，但我需要的.. 是与他联系！

他在我的生命里，已经扮演了十分重要的角色，是亲人.. 还有比亲人更多的东西！

是.. 我的少女情怀和爱恋.. ..
我曾打电话到家乡的县团委，了解严希的情况，想与他取得联系，但县团委的同志说：
「当初，严希对我的捐助，是他主动认捐的，

在县团委也只留有现在是“空号”的手机号码，没留下其他资料。」
严希就这样从我的生活里消失了，留给我的，只有梧桐、落日、细雨的记忆..

还有他腼腆的笑脸，帅气的英姿..

这些总在我的梦里交织、萦绕、缠绵、飘忽..

我这才明白，对他的爱，不是一般的爱恋，而是已经入骨..！

有严希的捐款，再加上自己的打工收入，我顺利地完成了大学的学业。

毕业后，我哪都不去，径直来到武汉寻找工作。

只是因为，武汉是严希所在的城市，有了严希，武汉就有了温暖。
我在一家公司找到了工作，然后拼命打听严希的下落。

但这座城市太大了，一年来，我没得到有关他的一点消息

但这个世界又实在太小了，小到我对找到严希不再抱有希望的时候..

他却自己出现在我们公司门口..

那一天下班的时候，落日的余辉淹没了整个江城，我从公司的大门出来，却意外地看到了严希！

他仍是那样帅气，只是比过去多了一点儒雅的气质。

他斜靠在一辆小车上，正在用手机打电话。几乎是在我看到他的同时，他也看到了我..
他怔怔在望着我，然后关掉了手机。我想扑过去，扑到他的怀里..

这是我一直以来设想的，如果见到他，我会做的举动！

但是.. 眼泪模糊了我的双眼，我的脚在台阶上崴了一下，我摔倒了..
严希跑过来扶起我，疑惑地问，你是小可？

这么多年来，我的外表已经有了一些变化，特别是在穿着打扮上。

我拼命点头，眼泪巴巴地说：「我一直在找你，一直，一直..」

他来不及说话，就有一个女孩走了过来，

是我们公司的一个同事，叫季静。

她一直走到我俩中间问严希：
「你认识小可？」

「是的，她就是我过去资助的那个女孩。」说着话，严希笑起来。
这个世界实在太小了，想不到你俩在一个公司上班。

季静是严希的女朋友，交往已经一年了，

他俩约定下个月结婚，今天严希就是来接她去试婚纱。
三个人站在一起说了一会儿话，说些什么我一点也不记得，

只记得严希和季静上车时，严希回头看了我一眼.. 这一眼，很复杂..
我就在这一眼中沉沦、坠落，心底，是万丈深渊..

那段日子我痛苦到极点，捱了半个月，我还是决定去找严希。

地址是从季静那里打听来的。我去找严希时，季静也在那里，

我准备了一肚子的话却无法说，只好说..

「我是来还钱的。」
「钱不用还，那是捐赠，不是借款。他之所以为我捐赠，是因为，

他读书的时候是个特困生，享受了不少社会捐赠，他这样做，只是回报社会。」
但我坚持要还款，我需要的是与他的平等..
「那么，你找个贫困生吧，像我捐赠你一样把钱捐给他或她，这就是还款了。」
谈话就这样结束，该说的一句也没说。他要送我回家，我拒绝了，

因为我看到季静提防的眼神。临出门的时候，他说：
「再过半个月，我们就要结婚了，到时，一定来喝杯喜酒啊。」

「我一定来。」
我.. 真的去了他的婚宴，还喝得酩酊大醉，醉到无法走路，舌头打结..

宴席结束，同事们要送我回去，我谁也不让，竟指名要严希送我。
严希将我抱到他的车上，这是他第一次抱我，很温柔很小心..

我紧紧地勾着他的脖子，听得到他的心跳，闻得到他的呼吸..
那一刻，我真的怀疑，我就是今晚的新娘..

当他将我放在后座上，自己跑到前面去开车时，我才知道我的梦碎了。

我再也抑制不住，哭着说：「严希.. 我爱你.. 爱你.. ..」

我一连说了一百声，还有千颗泪..
严希突然停了车，转过头来，

一脸泪痕.. 他哽咽着问我：

「小可，你为什么不早说？」

「我打算将钱还清了再告诉你.. 而且，我不知道 你是不是爱我..」
「本来，我只打算捐赠你高三的学费，那是为了回报社会。

直到见到你，你那梨花带雨的模样就深深打动了我，我才决定资助你上大学，

那时的心态，已与回报社会无关..

我.. 喜欢你..

但我不敢告诉你，因为我是捐赠人..
我怕你怀疑我捐赠的动机是索要你的爱情。

那次你坚持要还我钱时，我绝望极了，我以为..

你从我的眼睛里看出了什么，所以急迫地要还钱，怕欠我什么..

我这才以为我的感情是无望的，

我不敢与你再交往下去，怕自己不能自拔。就毅然换了手机号.. .. 」

我愣住了..

继而不顾一切地扑过去，吻他.. 直至天昏地暗..

然后，我踉跄下车回家.. 那边..

有个新娘子在等着他，我没有权利羁留他在我的身边。
这一宿，我无眠。

我后悔.. 为什么不早点告诉他我爱他..

也许，在第五次见面时，我答应让他送我，情况都会有所改观。

但现在，一切都迟了.. 爱他，就不要扰乱他的生活.. 这是我痛苦的抉择。
第二天，我离开了武汉。

当回头最后望一眼这座城市的时候，心里，仍有着深深的伤怀。

我知道，我撇得下这座城市，却撇不下这座城市里的一个人，

那个我只见过六次面的男人.. 将是我永远的痛楚.. 一生的思念.. ..

分享：
好心酸..
要知道，

有时想的太多，反而 是一种负担！

「爱」及时就要说出口，
当爱来的时候，不要让自己有任何遗憾的话。

就算是女生也能主动向喜欢的人示爱。

人永远不会知道感情会去到哪里，但至少自己争取过。
不说出来 伤心的 永远是自己的..

往往留下的.. 不是回忆..

而是永远的.. 「遗憾」..

0 comments
dreamed of racing on 10:44 am

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Thursday, 9 February 2012

Always reciprocate
even the smallest kindness done for us,
but never seek reciprocation
even for the greatest kindness done for others.

- Stonepeace

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dreamed of racing on 10:44 am

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Thursday, 2 February 2012

0 comments
dreamed of racing on 12:00 pm

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0 comments
dreamed of racing on 12:00 pm

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God Does Exist

A man went to a barbershop to have his hair cut and his beard trimmed.
As the barber began to work, they began to have a good conversation.
They talked about so many things and various subjects.

When they eventually touched on the subject of God, the barber said:
"I don't believe that God exists."

"Why do you say that?" asked the customer.

"Well, you just have to go out in the street to realize that God doesn't
exist. Tell me, if God exists, would there be so many sick people?
Would there be abandoned children? If God existed, there would be neither
suffering nor pain. I can't imagine a loving God who would allow all of
these things."

The customer thought for a moment, but didn't respond because he didn't
want to start an argument.

The barber finished his job and the customer left the shop. Just after
he left the barbershop, he saw a man in the street with long, stringy,
dirty hair and an untrimmed beard. He looked dirty and unkempt.

The customer turned back and entered the barber shop again and he said
to the barber: "You know what? Barbers do not exist."

"How can you say that?" asked the surprised barber. "I am here, and I am
a barber. And I just worked on you!"

"No!" the customer exclaimed. "Barbers don't exist because if they did,
there would be no people with dirty long hair and untrimmed beards,
like that man outside."

"Ah, but barbers DO exist! That's what happens when people do not come
to me."

"Exactly!" affirmed the customer. "That's the point! God, too, DOES exist!
That's what happens when people do not go to Him and don't look to Him
for help. That's why there's so much pain and suffering in the world."

- Author Unknown

0 comments
dreamed of racing on 11:09 am

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Wednesday, 1 February 2012

The dull true love..

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love
the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit,
that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed
into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and
my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy.
My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of
bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!”
I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted
cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man
who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally
he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess,
I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered:
“Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my
mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we
both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?”
He said: ”I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening
to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his
scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front
door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow
me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart.
I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you
cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore
the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs
to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way
in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the
cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my
palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism.
I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You
always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have
to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help
to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling
down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the
color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear
unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not
pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I
continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are
satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite
bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face,
clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have
decided to leave the flower alone…

MORAL LESSON: That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of
excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between
the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a
model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments
are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the
pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments.

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dreamed of racing on 11:39 am

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