BUDDHA’S ADVICE TO MARRIED WOMEN


WHERE DO WOMEN BELONG IN BUDDHISM

In advising women about their role in married life, the Buddha appreciated that the peace and
harmony of a home rested largely on women’s shoulders. His advice was realistic and practica
when he quoted a good number of day-to-day characteristics which a woman should or should
not emulate. On diverse occasions, the Buddha counseled that a wife:

(a) should not harbor evil thoughts against her husband;

(b) should not be cruel, harsh or domineering;

(c) should not be a spendthrift but should be economical and live within her means;

(d) should zealously guard and save her husband’s property and hard-earned earnings;

(e) should always be virtuous and chaste in mind and action;

(f) should be faithful and harbor no thought of any adulterous acts;

(g) should be refined in speech and polite in action;

(h) should be kind, industrious and hardworking;

(j) should be modest and respectful;

(i) should be thoughtful and compassionate towards her husband and her attitude should equate
that of a mother loving and protecting her son;

(k) should be cool, calm and understanding, serving not only as a wife but also as a friend and
adviser to her husband when the need arises.

WHERE DO WOMEN BELONG IN BUDDHISM

In the days of the Buddha, other religious teachers also spoke about the duties and obligations
of a wife towards her husband, particularly stressing the duty of wives in bearing off-spring for
their husbands, rendering faithful service, and providing conjugal happiness and heavenly bliss.
This view is also shared by Confucianism. However, although the duties of a wife towards the
husband were laid down in the Confucian code of discipline, it did not stress the duties and
obligations of the husband towards the wife. The teachings of the Buddha did not have such bias
towards the husbands. In the Sigalovada Sutta, the Buddha clearly mentioned the duties of
a husband towards the wife and vice versa.

A husband should be faithful, courteous and not despising. It is the husband’s duty to hand over
authority to his wife and from time to time, and to provide her with adornments.

Other useful advice was given to women on different occasions and under different circumstances.